Say it and Forget it. Can you really do that?

Have you ever faced guilt before? Have you ever once feel guilty of the things you say or do to someone? Sometimes people say things that offend other people in someway or another..and they actually feel okay with it. I don't know..kadang2 kene pikir gak prasaan org len kan?Aku x faham la cmne org leh be so mean to one another. Kalau ko bnci sorg 2 sgt2 skali pun, x yah la tunjuk die ngn care yg terang2 kan? What's the point of perli2 people anyway? It's such a cowardly act! Ko x puas ati ngn org 2 ko ckp la dpn2..NICELY. Kalau nk face 2 face x bmaksud ko kne maki die kan? Xde adab ke? Whatever happened to communication..kan? Pelik la. X pnh tpk ke ko mengutuk ank org lain..ko menyakitkan ank org len...ko memfitnah ank org len?? Funny thing is, you can actually be okay with it..? Why be so sarcastic? Why be so mean? Kalau aku bnci sorg 2 skali pun, aku ttp layan die elok2 kot..xde pye nk wat muke cm sial ke ape..think la of other people's feelings.. There's no reason for you to be mean to anyone.

p/s: please feed my fish when you scroll down.

My family, My Life.

Love u mama & ayah :)

Here i am in my room..listening to my friend complain about the babi's in angry birds..x habis2 BABI NI BODOH LA!!!haha funny..i've been really upset today just thinking about the amount of work i still have in stock..about where i would actually go for my practical training..about how long am i going to be stuck in melaka. All this has actually made me homesick. I miss my mom and dad dearly. All day i could only think about going home and being with them. I miss how my mom talks and makes jokes. I miss how my dad is such an attention seeker that no one else can be talked to except for him. I miss how he want's to be the first to know everything (although he usually is the last). I miss how my dad will call my sisters and ask them "are you off tomorrow? I'll come and pick you up at Damansara at 10pm". I miss how my mom gets angry with my cats and say things that she herself doesn't realize isn't logic like "Don't you understand simple English???".I miss how my dad will tell my mom, "don't cut that tree! let it live!" and my mom will have to listen to him while rolling her eyes at me. Sometimes i wonder what people who go overseas to study or for some other business feel like when they leave their family. Me, just being here in melaka is enough for me to miss my family THAT much..imagine what those who come back once in one or two years feel like.

Puasa, Mercun and Raya.

It's Ramadhan. Puasa time. Everyone knows that. Unfortunately some people are just too excited of the thought of raya that they actually miss the whole meaning of puasa itself. But i'm not gonna go into details on that one. Today, i wanna talk about my 'beloved' neighbours. Okay i get the whole excitement thingy. But it's just plain stupid to throw mercun bola at people's houses, you see. Sahur,mercun..subuh, mercun..petang, mercun..magrib, mercun..isyak pun mercun lg. It's fucking constant. I mean, seriously. Why the hell do you have to be so damn dajal and destructive and inconsiderate towards people?? U have a brain. But clearly your'e only using like 1/2% of it. I'd say you guys are stupid (which you really are) but i'd sound so mean then. Funny thing is, as you grow older, the more childish you become. And not to mention stupid as well. You guys should put up with your standards as university students you know. Act like a university student..not like some moron who just lost his mind. Sir khairuman(my lecturer) was right about us generation Yer's..we are too curious and stubborn. The more you tell em not to go there, the more they want to go. Tell em that's a dead end, and they still want to see if its true. The more you curse these idiots about mercun, the more they throw those fucking objects into your home!! Those lunatics. I hope the mercun meletups in their hands and faces. Biar xde tangan baru tau nak berhenti. 

My Pathetic Love Life :(

How lucky are you in love? You have a boyfriend, you have a girlfriend. Even if you don't, i can tell you 1 thing. YOU ARE BETTER IN LUCK THAN I AM. I might be the unluckiest person on earth when it comes to 'love'. Do you know how it actually feels to have people you don't even have the guts to look at to love you or be interested in you? I've been through this a million times. Say i like this one person, he will definitely see through me. Like i'm invisible. -_-'
Recently i got to know this chick from Facebook. Well, she said she want's to be my friend so i said what the hell? I got weird as she asked for my number and i being so dumb didn't think it through properly and just gave it.
 She called me that very night. In fact, it's THIS night. I don't wanna make presumptions about people but don't you feel weird if that happened to you? So i didn't answer.
Now moving on to a guy i knew for quite a long time. Since i entered this varsity, i often buy these cakes and stuff from this 1 pakcik. He's super nice to me and even addresses me as his daughter. I was part 1 when i first knew this pakcik. He has a son and a daughter helping him at his stall. So I've been going to his stall for about 2 1/2 years now unsuspecting anything. So one day, i go to his stall..but pakcik wasn't there. His son was. So i bought what i wanted but something seemed really strange with that guy that night. He was offering excessive plastic bags to me and my friends when i already told him i don't need it. Not to mention he was quivering in a distorted manner. And yet again, i didn't suspect anything. So by the time i wanted to go back, he called me (yeah, he knows my name thanks to his father). So i stopped and my friends went on ahead. I thought i didn't pay for what i bought or that what i paid was not enough. But then the weird thing happened. He was shivering and mumbling. I swear i couldn't understand a word he said (other than the fact that he grabbed my plastic bag of food away from me out of sheer fright). So in his mumbling, he said he wants to get to know me better. I froze. I didn't know what to say. He gave me his number and i said(while laughing hysterically) that i'd call him if there was anything. Unfortunately i never did. I just felt so sick of the thought of him. I might be a picky little bitch but i have a damn good reason. And the reason is that he's just not my type. After a series of uncomfortable and self conscious events, i just couldn't take it anymore. After that incident i never really went to that stall anymore. Particularly because of him. Now, he is actually evading me (thank you god). I guess he just realized that i'm just not into him. Well, at least that was a good slap in the face. But somehow it just makes me feel like i'm a bad person..which i'm not.
On to the next dude. Ok this guy. Correction. These guys i knew from Facebook. You know how people love to chat with people they barely know? Well that's what happened. These guys(whoever the hell they are) chat with me and asks the dumbest questions in the world. I just can't accept that. Being overly unconscious of their idiocy, they ask for my number by asking me to do stupid thing like this: "skang, isi je tmpat kosong ni. 01x-xxxxxxx". Oh yeah like i'm an idiot wanting to give you my number. Seriously that's really lame. So once they realize they stupidity, they prove me more with idiocy. They happily give me their numbers..and the next day they'll say "sy tunggu awk msg..tp xde pun..ke awk x nk kwn dgn sy?". Bingo moron!! 100 points for you! If i were to go on talking about this, i can go on forever. But i won't. It's tiring and i need a break.
Gee, all this anger and frustration actually really got out of me. Sometimes i wish i could actually say what i just said here to them so that they would actually back off. This has gotten me to wonder if i would ever be able to meet a guy that i actually REALLY LIKE. And not just cuz i'm feeling like a loner. I have high taste in men. But i never ever seen a man of my taste. I'm a magnet for the losers. They like to stick with me for some reason. Like, dude, get a life. Go and pick on someone of your own level. You know, the thing about guys that i've learned is that no matter how ugly he is, or how stupidly low class he is, he still 'thinks' that he can get the girls. I mean pretty girls. And the girls, being so many of them, actually fall for these idiots and have themselves being cheated on. These girls really need to wake up. Probably an ice cold bucket of water splashed on their faces will do the trick.
So how is it such that my love life is so pathetic? Ok..try having your handphone receive a message once a month and the message is not even from human. You know what i mean? Maybe this will make you understand. Hotlink. 62388, 22121, etc. You ever felt like you were soooooo hoping someone will text you and the your phone rings...and your'e all excited thinking about whoever the hell it is that texted you only to find out that it's from one of those damn operators? That's how i feel.
This has really made me prone to 'love'. I've actually closed the doors so that no one can get in anymore. It's just too disappointing. The moral is, focus on your studies/career. That's your REAL boyfriend.

Holla Bloggie!!

Here i am..finally having completed my very own blog. I actually have no idea why i did this.. I've always thought that it was pointless to have a blog. But then i realized i needed something where i could actually pour out my heart and soul and since i'm not much of a person who likes to write in notebooks, i decided to go with the trend of blogging. Still unable to understand though..how can you be addicted to blogging?? Well, questions are questions. And every question may or may not have an answer. Having this blog is quite amusing. I can really get a hang of this..curse whenever i want, babble whenever i want, without giving a crap about other people. At least here i can talk about myself and myself only if i wanted to and not listen to pathetic people talking about their pathetic lives. I'm being mean here. Well, suck it up..i'm tired of hearing people's stories. It's time to talk about what i want, what i do, what i am for a change. So for the first time ever, i wanna do something for myself without having to think about others. At least, i'm not bothering anyone. I'm not making people listen to my stories..i'm not forcing you to read my blog either. It's really your choice.